Today’s thought on choosing you is a tough one. In fact, it’s probably one of the hardest lessons I’ve ever had to accept.
So, grab coffee, a glass of wine, a shot of whisky…or whatever and keep reading.
You can’t change, save, or fix others. You can only change, save, and fix yourself. Accepting this is HARD. At least for me anyway.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to scream at people…you can save yourself from drowning in the water if you’d simply stand up!
But they refuse to stand. So, you can only decide what you’re going to do to save, fix, and change yourself.
Now, it’s been my experience that as I’m processing this I have lots of feels. Sometimes they feel overwhelming and have to remind myself I can keep from drowning if I simply stand up.
So, I’m going to give you a quick exercise you can do when you’re overwhelmed with big feels. It’s going to feel counter intuitive, but if you let it happen it’s kind of like magic.
First, name the feeling (if you’re having issues doing this get out your feelings wheel 👏🏻) and give yourself permission to let that feeling fill up as much space as it needs. Like let it fill every part of your body. If you need to let it take up more space than that, let it. See exactly how much space that feel can fill.
Next, give yourself permission to feel that particular feeling for as long as you need. A minute, a day, a week, a month, a year…don’t put a limit to how long you need to feel it.
Here’s why I find this exercise to be incredibly helpful when processing big feelings.
1. I’m always amazed and how much space my feelings don’t need. I did this once on a plane and thought for sure the plane would crash because my feelings were so big…but then discovered the feeling didn’t move beyond my chest 🤷🏻♀️.
2. Feelings come and go. And you might think you need a year to get over them, but really…you only need a few minutes. By not trying to contain or shame yourself for your feels you’ll discover they really are only temporary and they pass.
So, give it a go. Remember, you’re focusing on the feel, NOT the event. That gets into ruminating…and that isn’t the purpose of this.
Now, go feel your feels!