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???????? I will not watch this house burn. ????????

Hooray! Today is the first day where we’ll be exploring Brene Brown’s BRAVING tool. This acronym is one of my most favorite tools to teach when helping people work through mess. Today we talk about…

B: Boundaries

Oh boundaries. Such an amazing word…and such a hard one. Imagine this, you walk by a house and the roof is on fire. From the doorway someone shouts “Come on in!” This seems like a bad idea. The roof is on f**king fire. However, not wanting to be rude you say sure, maybe for a minute. As you enter, the house is hot. It’s uncomfortable. It’s dangerous.

You are asked to take a seat. And as you do a piece of burning wood drops to the table. It. Just. Got. Real.

Sometimes we choose to walk into a burning house. For whatever reason…we stay in situations that hurt us. We participate in relationships that are unhealthy. We agree to hang around and watch others make decisions that will ruin lives.

Guess what? You don’t have to stay. And boundaries give you permission to walk out of the house. They give you the power to say…

I will not watch this house burn.

You have the right to say I will no longer participate in a situation that does not serve me. I will no longer participate in your poor choices. I will no longer tolerate sitting at the table in a burning house.

Boundaries set you free. They are hard, sometimes seemingly impossible, as burning houses can be like train wrecks, you can’t take your eyes off them. They can be painful, but they move you one step closer to fine.

So, your Wed challenge: figure out what boundaries you need to set to keep you safe.

Remember to believe in your selfie. Because if you don’t, who will?